is that for me?

i just got done reading one of your blogs & i dont know but i have a feelings it for me. saying that i lost your respect & that you wont try to bring the past back. if its not for me then aight. but if it is for me..

All I can say is .. why? i never done anything to lose your respect. i'm just giving the space that you need. I dont wanna be all up in your business & make myself look like the center of attention cause i'm not. If you quit on me now.. what do i do? You already know I'm still hurting that ever since Nov30, 2005, we havent really gotten to actually REUNITE. never got to actually chill. but its alright. we got hella time.ever after reading this.. &decide to not try then i understand. i'm still here for you. i gurantee that fsho. take care of yourself though. late.

For a real best friend.

so today was interesting.

School- Nothing really. 1st period took a quiz. 2nd period laughed with melissa as always. 3rd period tardies. talked to Ms. Louie. 4th period guest speaker which made me fall asleep for 10 mins and i ended up jumping alittle off my seat. embarassing. hahahah. lunch walked around. 5th SSR and Beowulf. 6th period we got to talk pictures. didnt take mine though. taking it on monday.

after school went to buy water at that water place. then went to savemart to buy my mom stamps. drove home. got ready. drove to melissa's house for cotillion practice. It was fun. My partner is pretty chill. I just hope he doesnt get annoyed by me cause I laugh too much with Melissa. Uhm so when i got there.. Hannah, Jessica, Ronald,Jhomel, & Kevin Miranda was already there. Just watched melissa practice. then we all started practicing. whitley and jluisa came. showed them the dance. lovely and danielle came and TRIED to teach them but they kept laughing. all good. then melissa's cousins came. UGH not to be mean but i didnt like one of her cousin..she was like maybe 10 or so. cause steven was gunna dance with me and mel's cousin goes "why boy dancing with a boy?" and that shit just got me hella down. I'M SORRY i can't be like other girls. I am who i am. no one can stop me. UGH w/e. then played ball with steven and melissa. steven's stupidbutt kept bumping into me. haha. well yeah, chilled inside melissa's house til 930. and then they dropped us all home (the ones who were left which is Me, Whitley, Jluisa and Steven) yeeah. well practice again tomorrow at 3pm. so yeeeeah.

aww. Melissa! you're hella chill. dude i'm hella glad you're my friend. actually no. i'm glad you're my best friend. i trust you with my secrets! &you should trust me. fasho. we gunna be best friends forever. haha. thanks for listening to me awhile ago. LOVE YOU BEST! hehe

i'll blog about it tomorrow. bye

Tayong Dalawa

was so sad. Audrey ends up falling on the floor and then JayR picks her up and drives her to the hospital. but he just stops on the road and takes her out of the car and they just have their last words. then the whole scene at audrey's funeral was so sad. i cried like a water fountain. Then the day of burial.. jayR watched a little video that audrey made before she died and boy did that make me cry more. when he was watching the video.. everyone was at the burial.. he ended up going when they were lowering her down.. but his brother told the dude to stop.. jayR ended up winding the thing to make her come back up and then he tried to open the coffin because he doesnt want her to leave. and damn. thats when i was crying like a sink thats on. so sad. They have a baby too, Adrian. she died because she had a problem with her heart i think. and it was too late to get a abortion. so she just gave birth and had a few days to live.

i started thinking about my grandma after. life's too short to deal with BS. so live life to the fullest because you never know. .

2nd period.

I'm in 2nd period and Melissa is having head problems.. HAH!

Be Back Later.

1st day of school

woke up at 6am. got ready and then left around 7:15. got there 7:30am? went to get schedules with daphne and may. then went to 1st period.

1st per- Chinese with Kang. OMG i already dislike it. might switch out. no friends. mostly freshmens and sophomores -__________- i wish i had it 2nd but its full.

2nd per- OPEN. but ima be doing community service in the office with Thomas Llamas -___-

BREAK - just went to check lockers.

3rd per- Office TA. didnt do much but chill in the office with Melissa and then started walking around since we were too loud in the office.

4th per- Econ with Castro. I never knew most of the people knew my name in that class. "Hey Christine! *smiles* sign my paper pleeeease?" i might like this class. hopefully Castro doesnt switch me in a different seat.

LUNCH - went to get lunch with Melissa and then sat at the tables with Rachaelle (sp?) Thao Melissa and them. lunch felt shorter than usual. then bell rang.

5th per - EngIV with Bogovich. EW i hate this class. especially when we're gunna have presentations. she's the only teacher with spotlights. i know cause i had her freshman year. OH GOSH... i kept falling asleep lol

6th per - Photography with Danielson. I know most of them so its all good. i have a class with Andrew G ! Mr. too cool to chill with me at Modesto. hahaha. I sit with Josh T (junior) and May T. (junior) cause all the seats with andrew and them were taken by nerds. haha

After School - drove home. ate. nap. &now im here doing hw.

I WANNA SWITCH OUT OF CHINESE SO BAD! HOPEFULLY MS. EVARKIOU SWITCHES ME OUT. -__________________________________________________-

Don't Drink & Drive

So this weekend was pretty interesting.

Friday: I woke up around 12pm. Had to pack some clothes since we were going to Modesto. Left the bay area around 5:40ish. &got to Modesto around 7:30ish because of LAME traffic. UM well got to my auntie's house who we spent the whole weeekend at. I went across the street to my cousin's house and stayed there til 11ish. Went back to my auntie's house and the rest of the bay area heads were there. Slept in my room. haha i got my own room in my auntie's house. DOPE. Just did a all nighter with all the cousins. played Chess. Watched The Hangover. WOWOWEE =)

Saturday: After watching the sunrise i got sleepy so i took a nap til 10am cause my cousin who's like 30 something kept coming in my room to take pictures. UGH. so in my room.. kayla jr and i slept there. the others just slept in the living room and stuffs. so i woke up to everyone else already downstairs helping cook. I just chilled in the garage with the radio, kayla, and my kuyah's wife. Talked about things. pretty dope. I drove my kuyah to Savemart to buy beer. Helped him carry & the stupid lady needed my ID. but im a minor so we didnt get the beer. haha stupid lady just wanna slap her. i only helped a nigga out. haha.

i'll continue later. BBL 8)

Cousinly Love. =)

Today was pretty Fun.

Woke up late for school. Got there around 830am. Class was pretty easy but i was tired so i slept the whole time and so did my nigga. After school, drove home. Kayla and Amber got dropped off cause I couldn't pick them up. Watched Wowowee at 11am. I was starving like crazy but my older cousin told us not to eat because we all planned to eat at buffet. So it was me, Kayla. Amber and my brother who did not eat. We ended up falling asleep til my other cousins came from fremont. Left around 2pm to eat at Happy Buffet. That place don't have much good food but w/e. my auntie paid for all of us. sat with kayla. i don't like their food -__-. Then we went back to my house. Chilled outside. Borrowed my mom's car to go to Eastridge. Just walked around. Got home around 7ish. kayla and i decide to bring our nephew joshua with us. Walked to Jerry's then to the park and then to Leanne's house. Joshua was hella shy so i brought him home cause it was also cold. got home around 830?other families were over my house. we all ate dinner my house. chilled. learned how to box -_-. no i'm not gunna fight anyone. uh and then kayla and i chilled in my room & whatnot. talked and watched tv. pretty chillass cousin if you ask me. understanding even if she's like 3 years younger than me. yee! so that was pretty much my day. not really detailable to me. haha well i'm out! peace.

It's Been Awhile

Damn. It's been a while since i've last blogged on here. Reason is i'm either lazy or have no time. Well Summer's been pretty good. Spending time with family is always a must. I've been visiting my grandma at Lima alot too. Chilln' with my cousin and niece every weekday. just cruising the whole milpitas & fremont.

Well today (July20.2009) let's see. My brother wanted to watch the Wowowee Live at 2am. So.. I decided to watch with him because he's a big scartycat. Scared to watch alone downstairs. haha. Watched that and talked to Daphne the same time. Ended at 4am. Couldn't sleep til 430am. woke up at 7am and got ready to go SUMMER SCHOOL -_-. Class was boring but i mananged to stay away without my nigga Huy. fuckn bitch I bet that nigga slept in. So after class ended 1030am. Drove home. ate vienna sausage & rice ftfw. hehe. watched Wowowee even if i watched it at 2am. hm.. couldn't take a nap because driving instructor came to pick me up at 12pm. MAN! This nigga. Can't even understand her. I went driving to fremont. &the most stupidest thing ever is her making me stop by at starbucks because her nigga ass is sleepy so she said she needed coffee. and then after that she made me drive to some friend's house. WTF. & she kept talking on her fuckn phone. &&&&&! she made me drive up the hills near fremont to pick up the next student. OMG that kid sucks too! almost crashed into a commercial truck. WTFWTF! So i was still driving and it got to 2oclock. had to switch with that kid. yeah. Instructor wasn't even paying attention to ANYTHING. I had to tell these damn niggas to do all these turns cause her GPS system was acting up. WOW. i HOPE i don't get the same instructor next time. SHE SUCKED BIG TIME ! fuckn bitch. sorry. not to be racist but she Indian & her car was -________-

When i got dropped off .. right when i gout out of the car my cousin was hella speedin on the street. haha. kicked it for a bit in my room cause it has AC. then went driving. drove to auntie's house but told us to go later cause my uncle was sleeping and the kids were gunna end up yelling and what not. so we decided to drive to Lima to visit my grandma RIP. stopped by Mc. Donalds for a ice cream cone. Got to Lima. Spent time chilln there with my cousin brother and niece. We left and headed to Ading Kayla's house. They were gunna bbq so decided to help cause of course you gotta help. lol. The charcoal wasn't even the kinds i used so i didn't know what to do. What we had to do though was soak the charcoal with the lighter fluid. whoo i learned something today. hehe. so after bbq we ate. then kicked it in the living room laughing. hella played songs from wowowee! lmao. That was fun. Then left around 945pm. got home.. changed. lalala. fell asleep but then woke up at 2am & can't sleep anymore -_____________________-. but i'll eventually go to sleep.

So tomorrow's plan (July21,2009)
School at 8am. Get off at 1030am. pick up kayla and amber after. hopefully i get back home by the time wowowee starts. buffet with cousins around 1. &just kick it after. yee! blogg tomorrow. nightt negrows.

"I'm really sorry if I haven't been the best friend you deserve. I been busy and when I do have time its not spent trying to make the most out of that time with you =( I feel so stupid for not even putting an effort after all the signs you throw at me. a simple hi from you and you get a useless.. "I'm busy" hi back. I really do love you taa. and you been the best friend I feel like I've been taken for granted. I hope you realize that its gonna hurt to see you move and as much as it seems like I don't care for you anymore.. you moving will hurt me the most =( but I hope we never forget this taa. 1998 and going? yes(= I love you so much."

I've been praying that you & i would be back in place. we're like two trains going down the tracks together side by side.. but we end up splitting at one point and aren't with each other side by side these days. I really have no idea how to explain it. but sometimes I wish we would row ourselves backwards on the track to be together again. does this all make sense? or is this just driving me crazy making up some weird ass shit to explain my friendship with you.

I do miss you. What do you want me to do to actually show you I care? Do I have to jump off a building? Kill myself? A "i love you" or "i miss you" from me doesn't mean anything to you? it's like it goes through one ear and other the other. You seem so hard to get through. You're never serious. You take everything as a joke. I hope you realize all this soon. i really do.

I love you Angelica Dumandan & i REALLY do miss you.

Hello Summer!

so i haven't blogged in a week or so. hm.

Weekend: Promotion party for my cousin Kevin. hung out with everyone there. got to see my niece EllaMae. It's been 9months since the last time i saw her! she's adorable. she'd cry and go to me. too cute<3 don't really wanna go into detail but that whole weekend can sum up to: napping til 5. party. walked around the neighborhood at midnight. got caught by cops for running around the hospital parking garage. got dropped off to my cousin's house by the cops. then cousin Kathy dropped Jason & I to his house. had the house to ourselves. called up his friends. ate rice & sausage. got kicked in the face =(. slept at 5am. Sunday; woke up at 12ish. picked up cousin's dad nd brother at the party. Savemart with Jason. then Juice it Up. back home. came home around 9ish?

Monday-Thursday; nothing much. finals started on tuesday. Physics & Alg2 on tuesday. TA for C.D and English III for Wednesday & then TA for the office & US History. Drove to school and home freaks my mom out. haha. um. I got to spend time with Charmaine on Wednesday since we had the same 3rd period. Ima miss having a class with her though! even if she tortured me alot. lol. uh well Thursday I chilled with Mrs. Louie and made plans to hang out with her and Ray! haha. yeeah

On wednesday i got home around 12:45ish and my parents went out to go to a meeting. so i had to pick up my brother and sister at school around 2:30. blah blah blah.after that i got dropped off to my cousin's house to go to her promotion for Rancho Middle School. I wasn't even there at the ceremony LOL! my cousin rendal wanted to buy airhorns and we left the house around 4:40! and the thing starts at 5. lol. spent HELLA time searching for airhorns at partycity. instead we bought whistles. and when we got to MHS there wasn't any parking. we got to the field 5mins before it ended. BUMMER ! but congrats. went back to her house to eat. went home around 10:30. forgot to study for US Hist. finals but i think i did good.

Thursday was last day; went home around 1:30. chill with cousins. drove to the store to buy some stuff my mom asked me to buy. went home. BBQ`d for my sister's promotion party. stupid ass cousin amber kicked the grill and the whole thing almost fell on me ! bitchass. um. after i bbq`d i went park and whatnot. my cousin rex drove to the park and met up with us there. drove home.

Friday: Today i woke up around 12pm. ate. laundry. ipod. car. biking around the Pines. i fell! hahah hilarious. whatevs. nothing really. i chilled with my cousins again. can never have enough of them. haha<3

Tomorrow's Saturday. I kinda hope we don't go Modesto. cause they wanna go biking and whatnot again. whoo. &drinking ?! we'll see whatsup!


SUMMER. ITS ONLY THE BEGINNING!

blehk!

i'll get back to this in a bit..

17th Birthday

Today was pretty good. Happy Birthday Twin Gineil ! Hope you had a good one too.

So school was nothing much. 1st per; dumb test that i think i failed.. 2nd per; Carla went to get a tissue and then yelled "It's Christine's Birthday!" haha this kid though. and then Katrina & Ashley were talking about how it was Katrina's grandpa's birthday too. I hate how i got close to K & A at the end of the year .. not that its bad but yeah. haha well BREAK; walked to the tables with Carla. She started singing Happy Birthday and everyone else was like "its your birthday!".. Jonathan Nguyen "Can i give you a kiss? We haven't talked since freshmen year.. i miss you" hahah aww i miss you too Jonathan.. especially rugball PE with you. haha. 3rd per; Had to deliver some stuff to the office and student bank.. got food with charmaine at the vending machine. 4th per; talked about buddhist & finished the Matrix Reload. Lunch; kicked it in Ms. Weiss' class for our club. ate Ice Cream & Pizza. 5th per; tardie passes. cut some out. deliver passes. chilled. 6th per; same old. fell asleep.

After School.. i hung out for about 10 mins and then left. Drove to Costco .. bought some food and whatnot. drove to Outback around 4ish. walked around cause i told people to come at 5. hahah. well i found rachaelle chilling outside the theater.. and then doni showed up. and then melissa then chris and daphne. and then christian. ayana came hella late! haha

so christian daphne chris me melissa doni rachaelle and i decide to just go in and tell them we have a extra person coming in late. got our seats.. i sat with daphne and melissa. chris was across from me. so our waiter for the day is ADAM.. haha. so .. melissa wanted to know the size of the plates.. i said "oh. melissa here would like to know what size your ..." and i paused & laughed like crazy. my bad. uh so we got bread with butter and our drinks.. we ordered when ayana came which was around 630. late! daphne and i split the ribeye together. it was alright. um ate ate ate.. talked.. Melissa was all shy around Adam.. lmao well these niggas hella tricked me. so we were just doing the whole money thing .. uh $127 all together?! fuck. um.. ADAM came with a ice cream sundae + candle.. i was omg. hella smiling while they were singing happy birthday.. ayana took a scoop of the ice cream and flinged it at me ! but most of it went to daphne. lmao. then walked around the mall.. was suppose to take a picture with ADAM but neh. saw Marissa Earles there. hmm well walked around.. doni was fooling around too much in Forever21.. blah blah. walked around.. waited for our ride..

pretty chill day. i expected more but whatever.

18th birthday will be off the hook though.
hit me up about it. already got part of it planned.

Thanks though.. all you guys who came to my birthday dinner. love you guys!

Suppose to drink up tonight but cousin won't hit me up! this weekend forsure. oh man. can't wait..

pictures will be up when rachaelle uploads. +video.

June2 List !

f


Tshirts = XL
Jackets = L

Buffalo Plaid Hooded Windbreaker from Heritage 1981
http://www.forever21.com/heritage1981/mens/default.asp
ANYCOLOR!




WESC Overlay Tee



Stussy Livin XL Tee




Stussy; Skull Stock Tee




Tofu Head Tee



Gloomy Bear Tee



Men's Members Only 80s Vintage Jacket; Any Color


Authentic Black Canvas Vans



Authentic Era Charcoal/ChilliPepper



Authentic White Canvas Vans



Dakine Wonder Backpack Clubhouse Plaid



Dakine Wonder Backpack Autumn Plaid



Lanikai LU-21 Concert



Rogue Left-Hand Guitar





TO BE CONTINUED.

BuddyPoke Love (8

I Love BuddyPoke. &i Love my '98 lover. haha. Ms. Angelica Dumandan aka mushroom head.

So today was pretty good. I had to take the CST today cause I have Physics. So I took my test in Ms. Roy's class since I don't have a regular 5th period. After that i went to the office cause i was getting lighthead. After the bell, I walked alone to 1st. Didn't do anything much in there. just watched some physics video. no one really paid attention. I listened to the music the whole period. 2nd. warmup/hw/notes. I love my 2nd period buddy Carla Mazzetti. haha! Lunch was alright, I stayed in the office and talked to Ms. Louie about things. haha. Then bell rang for 5th. Donni and I walked around since we were Office TA's. i really didn't give a fuck about what I saw. well went to the office to hand out tardy passes. conversate about senior ball. & just laughed with Donni and Ms. Louie. 6th: i managed to stay awake today when i only had 2 hrs of sleep. wow. After school: talk to ghanie and michael about work. then went home. ate. got a call from my cousin. he picked up my brother and i. went to Lee's sandwhich cause that nigga was hungry. haha. got me a drink. drove to his friend JD's place near Rancho. BabyRaewin was there with Manong Erwin. Just played with Raewin while they were lowering JD's integ. order pizza. & just chilled. now i'm here just blogging this shit.

Can't wait til this weekend though. Pacquaio fight on saturday. finn' watch that shit at Modesto with my niggas. Then hopefully I get to chill with everyone down there. especially my nigga Alex. fuckn kuya you better be able to come through. ima beat your ass if not. haha. Love you though!

Well thats about it.

-Taa (8

been awhile

Daamn. it's been a second since i last blogged. my fault.

Life's been pretty hard to hold on to. I thought 2009 would be a whole new start to new things. but I never really expect losing my grandma so early. I miss her soo much. Every night before I go to bed, I pray for her and my family. My grandma was such a great woman. She was there for all of us since we were born. I'll never ever forgive myself for not going to see her on her last day. It was unexpected. But I should've been there. Never got the chance to tell her how much I love her and how much I thank her for always being there for us. It won't be the same without you Nang. Things changed so much ever since. But it was your time to go and i respect that. You're watching over us now & I promise you I'll be successful in the future.

So school has been a big drag for me. I want senior year to come. &i really can't wait til i get out of HS. just too much for me. Only people I can open up to is Ms. Louie & Donni. I fuckn love 5th period Office TA with them two. Well idk. To be honest, I fuckn hate high school. but whatever. i got one more year to go and i'm outta that damn joint. haha.

FUCK ALL THIS DAMN BS. I AM WHO I AM. STAY OFF MY LVL NIGGA. GET OFF MY HYPE.

Family Love

This weekend was such a great experience. i love my family. Taa family. it wasn't even 1/5 of the Taa family!

On Saturday, we had a prayer at my cousin's house for my grandma who passed away last month. Watched Harold and Kumar Guantanamo Bay (unrated?) haha. im thinking so because they showed nude people. umm. ate spent alot of time with my cousin Darrel. man do i miss that fool or what. Sang kareoke. &watched a video of my grandma's funeral. went home around 11:30pm. yeah hecka early cause everyone needed some sleep since we were all going out the next day.

On Sunday, woke up around 9:00am by my brother. got ready took a shower. my dad drove the hummer. we all met up at my cousin's house that we were at on saturday morning. Left the pines around 11:15am. took hwy237 then exited to hwy101.My oldest cousin who drove his car wanted to lead the way so 4 cars all together followed each other. He ended up bringing us to the wrong place! We told him to lead us to Golden Gate Bridge. so my uncle who drove another car led the way instead. stopped at Pier39 cause oldest cousin was lost. hahah! the adults went bathroom while all the kids stayed outside and gave my cousin directions on the phone. went into a gift shop. spend $20 on weird stuff. haha. then we all went to Bubba Gumps to eat. we were a equal of 20familymembers. haha. so it was me,aaron,kayla and manong darrel on the booth while the other kids + adults were on those long tables. the 4 of us were super de duper hungry so my manong darrel ordered us some onion rings for appetizers. haha the ones sitting at the long tables were staring (manong boyet. jomar. maec. jr brandon. auntie pianing & them) haha. it was HOT but super good. after we finished the appetizers we were asked for our orders so kayla got coconut shrimp with fries. aaron got stuffed shrimp. and manong and i got ribs with fries. while we waited for our order.. the others ended up getting shrimp cocktail for appetizers. haha and would share. but it was all good. took pictures with manong's d60 til the food came. acted retarded. then food came. OH MAN it was sooo deeeeelicious. the rib bones came off the meat just like that. damn. yeah so we ate ate ate. shared. finished and the total for all 20 of us was $504. daaamn right. walked to a dock and i looked through those telescope things to see what's at alcatraz and i saw some people outside. then the boat came driving by near the dock and then all the parents were like "lets just take it. we're already here. might as well ride it." so my manong boyet paid for the cruise which was $247 for all 20 of us? his wife didn't give out the tickets to us which pissed of the ticket ripper lady. haha. first we all squished in front of a green screen to take a picture before we go on the cruise. and the person who took the picture with a D40 looked so much like Tila Tequila. i wanted to take a picture with her but others were waiting in line to take their picture with the greenscreen. okay so it was me my uncle and my cousin's wife were last because the lady ripper is a bitch! my cousin's wife tried to explain to her what the ticket seller told her but the bitch was like "mam. you need a ticket. i cant have you on without a ticket. you're holding up the line." so then my cousin's wife goes to the ticket seller.. and the ticket seller ended up arguing with the ticket ripper. ahah. and then the ticket seller said she apologizes. dude why cant that bitch be like the ticket seller. damn. and before all this .. i walked by the ticket ripper and she ended up stepping back which ended up stepping on my shoes! and she said "excuse me!" with a fuckn attitude. i was like "the fuck you the one who backed up" and i walked away. hahah shit. oaky so got on the boat. went to the top of the boat and sat there with the rest of my cousins. boat started. i freaked out for a little bit. then it went faster. the boat took us under the golden gate bridge and then turned around towards alcatraz. they played something on the speakers and it told us stories about people in alcatraz. scaryshit! while listening .. it started raining so everyone on top went inside. bought hot cocoa and sat on the booth couches or whatever you call it. and then when we got back to pier 39. got off and it was raining MORE! gah i forgot my umbrella in the car too. so we all ended up going inside the gift shop again at pier 39. bought some souvenirs. then we took the stairs that leads us to the parking garage. the stairs brought us to a little bridge over the street. took pictures there. uh got inside the car. and i fell asleep the whole ride back home. we chilled at my cousin's house. we ate dinner there. lechon pancit fried rice and more. and then went home. tried to finish up homework but failed. slept at 2am.

monday-school.home.finished up weekend hw. didnt fail this time. slept at 2am.

TODAY;
got to school. decided to go late to 1st period; turned in late homework. and just dozed off the rest of the period.2nd period;all the sophomores werent in class cause they had CAHSEE testing inside the gym. so it was just me jomar andrew jacky and some loud asian dudes. corrected homework and then did paperwork.3rd period; charmaine wasn't there to spend time with and might not be there again tomorrow cause of CAHSEE testing. all i did was get food, fool around with the security, &chill with louie since im TA in there and he didnt wanna go to his 3rd. 4th period;sub. OMG i disliked her! all i can say is that she's the worst sub ever. soooo weird. she made me door monitor. she didnt even know how to unlock the door so i had to open the door everytime someone knocked. didn't really accomplish anything because of that. BIG FAIL! Lunch;went to jnitty gritty club because melissa wanted to. i ate in the classroom. had some laughs there.5th periodstamped tardy passes and trojan access cards. uh then alphabetized over 200 passes because of CAHSEE kids. it gave me somethng to do but it was soo boring.6th period;teacher gave us new seats. i sit with TimDelaCruz. uh kept falling asleep but did get work done. haha.afterschool;went to the lockers and ended up seeing 2 seconds of freshmens fighting. stupid kids! stfu nigga. grow up. then i walked towards the theater.. hugged my lovely niece daphne (: and then saw my char-ALL-mine/world/panda/fatso standing on the bench and gave her a big fat hug but then she made me carry her which ended up having her arm on my mouth. yackz! haha. then walked to the parking lot. drove home. now i'm here typing this cause i haven't blogged lately. i needa catch up on my sleeping schedule. gotta stop being lazy.

tomorrow's goal:
school
see charmaine
go places and fill up job applications
homework
sleep at 11pm

RIP Trifonia Blaquera Taa 012023-020609

Hey Guys,

Sorry for not blogging daily when i promise i would. Last Thursday, Friday & Saturday have been the hardest for me. Rest in Peace Trifonia Blaquera Taa. I really miss you Nanang. It's different when i come to your house and not see you around watching TFC. I always expect to you see you when i come over but now that you aren't here anymore, it wont be the same. you've been there since i was born & from then on, you've helped me become who i am now. You were the shield to keep us safe from danger, the one who would comfort all your grandkids when we would cry because our parents went to work. Even when you weren't feeling well, you'd take care of us. Nang, you've done so much and words arent enough to explan how much we all thank you.

Thursday[first viewing]
February 26, after school my uncle picked up my cousin & i from school. went home. ate. and got ready to leave for my grandma's first viewing. When we got to Lima around 5:30pm, I saw the rest of my cousins outside. I went inside and saw many faces that i haven't seen for a long time. When i looked at the casket, i saw her lying there. She looked happy. Since there were snacks & whatnot, my auntie told me and my cousin to go eat. There were muffins, donut holes, pancit, small and i mean small water bottles & soda. D60 mode. My dad came around 7:00pm. When he came to see her, he broke down. My auntie & him started crying. They got out of hand and my kuyah Mario held my dad back, but i think it pissed off my dad. i dont blame them for our lost. she needed to go. its better seeing her with God than seeing her with tubes and wires on her in the hospital. We left the viewing around 8:30ish. Got home went on AIM and chatted with people til AM time. Slept at 2am.

Friday. [last viewing]
Woke up at 6:55am and got ready for a half day of school. Got to school, went to the lockers and went to first period. We took a chapter test. I sit alone in that class now cause Mr. Mark Caronongan got switched out ): 2nd period started to fall asleep. Didnt get caught. Break wasn't much. Lockers & then went to the office to get a off campus pass. Went to 3rd. TEACHER'S ASSISTANCE. Nothing much in that class. i just sat there watching Charmaine. hehe. So since that was the last period i was gunna attend, I walked Charmaine to her 4th & chilled for awhile til she was done changing. I left charmaine and drove home. My mom and i headed to Lucky7 (its like Ocean Supermarket) to buy ingredients to make palabok for the prayer on Saturday Night. went home. ate and left with my cousin and uncle to Lima since my parents went to do some errands. My aunties and uncles were already there unloading food from the car. There was pancit, pizza, aroscaldo (sp?), chicken, wraps & more. Chilled. Cousins are stupid for walking around the cemetary.They got introuble by some dude that works there since they werent with an adult. D60 & D40. Wi-Fi internet. caught up with cousins i havent seen lately. The thing started around 6:45. I was suppose to do a speech but i backed down. Everyone in the room was family but still i couldnt do it. I cried a little when manong Darrel did his speech. All the grandkids did. After the speeches the grandkids & kids put roses in the casket & said our thank yous' & goodbye. I couldnt keep my tears from falling so my eyes started balln like a water fountain. Manong Darrel and i stook there. Cried. We put our rose in the casket. I felt my grandma's hand and it was super cold. Sat down in the 2nd row and continued to cry. Father from st. john's left and everyone in the room got in line to see her one last time. Ate. D60 mode. Jason slept over that day. we went to my other cousin's house for a little get together or iuno. Watched a movie but didnt finish. left around 1:30am. Jason watched Titanic alone thinking I was awake until he checked.

Saturday. [Burial]
alarm from jasons phone was weird. woke up at 6:35am cause jason wanted to shower first. I idnt have a white long sleeve so i went across the street to get one from my auntie. We left around 8am. Jason and i squished in the back of the hummer cause my auntie caught a ride with us. We got to Lima and just sat there. once again , my eyes were balln when i went up to see my grandma for the last time. last goodbye. grandkids rode in limos to the church. got there. little mass thing. back to Lima .. and cried my heart out. Everyone left & we all ate at Happy Buffet. Jason and Rosanne and i went walking around. we went to partycity. to manila oriental and back to happy buffet. inside partycity we went all the way to the back and tried on those props. craaazy laughs yo. after happy buffet. we all met up at kayla's place. left around 5ish to my grandma's house for prayer. i wanted to go change my clothes so my cousin brandon and i walked to my house. changed. picked some oranges in the backyard at night. HELLA dark. wrote charmaine a note. put the oranges and note in a jordan box and walked to her house to drop it off at her front door. walked to my cousin's gf's house cause she was there. picked her up. walked back to my grandma's house. everyone was there. sang kareoke. haha most of my cousins heard me sing for the first time. & they said i was good? idk. haha. took pictures with my babe [don't trip. its just my nephew] and then i guess my cousin and i ended it. we were the last ones there. 12ish. home. computer yeah.

other days are boring so whatever.

pictures will be up soon. waiting on them to upload.

what she said

chill

You know what sucks?! I drove all the way to New Park Mall on Saturday January 17 to pick up my order & guess what.. the dumbass windbreaker would not fit. WTF haha. all my other windbreakers are size M .. why doesnt this one fit? haha. I couldn't go to Eureka so i went mall with my dope cousin Kayla. haha. she's one crazy cool girl. duuude even if she's younger than me .. i can hella look up to her. she don't care about what others think of her. don't trip. hehe. well we hella grubbed ! put hella money on food. fatasses. so we ate at jollibee. i had a #5? forgot but i remember that kayla got a #3 cause it had 3 pieces of chicken. haha. i paid for this one so it was like $12 something.. it's okay. and after that .. we went walking around. went arcade inside century. haha i hella got owned in that one asian racing game! right at the turn.. i hella fucked up. so she beat me. after.. walked outside to starbucks! she got a cinnamon dolce something and then she got me a .. white chocolate mocha expresso. yeah my first time having a hot drink from there. she paid this time. uh then went walking around again. ended up at the food court and we were hungry again! duude what's up with our tummy? always hungry. so we bought Mc. Donalds. haha she said i have to keep our order a secret so yee`. ate. hella bomb ass order. haha and a smart way to save $$. walked around again. we kept arguing about watching MALL COP but i didn't wanna spend $10.50 or whatever. so i called my mom to pick us up. got home around 9:30pm. she slept over! haha we were hella having a deep talk until 5am. really fun talking to her though cause she accepts me for who i am. well she fell asleep on me while we were looking at my yearbooks. so i won the bet. yay! she went home around 4pm on Sunday which was the next day. uh nothing much in sunday. just lazy. monday no school so i just did some work and whatnot.

so tuesday was Rowena's birthday (: Happy Birthday Ading Fav. hope you had a good one. on wednesday i had finals for Physics and Alg2 which was pretty hard. I had a appendix sheet (cheat sheet) for Physics but it didn't really help cause i didn't highlight anything and it was full! like i used a like for 2. does that make sense? instead of writing 1 line on a line.. i used 2 lines for a line. haha okay forget it. but i think i FAILED that cause Fowler didn't give us the whole 2 hours! he gave us 85 mins which definitely wasn't enough for me. The ones i skipped i had to just BS it. HEY it's better than leaving it blank right!? shiit. Alg2 was aright but wasn't so sure about the matrices or whatever. got out at 12:20pm so i went home. changed and decided to go jollibee and get some food! yumm. nothing else after. slept really early. 7pm and woke up at 5am. got ready for school. starbucks. uh thursday's finals were Child Development and EngIII. easy easy easy. ima miss child development though. making fun of Mari "talked bad" (Tacbad is her last name) w/ Leo. ahh! nothing much there. just did the final and then we all talked about stuff. Break was boring. when the bell rang, hella rushed to Mr. Masuda's class cause i heard that he'd let us use the movie script .. but there was a limited amount so yeah. hella rushed with Melissa but he made us sit in out seats first. uh writing the essay on The Godfather was easy easy easy. after.. went home. slept. and idk what else. Friday i went to school around 9 cause i was TA for office and they didn't care what time i go so yee`. nothing much happened.. i just shreaded papers for Ms Louie. Break: Ajay came in the office to get her fried rice for her next class. she gave me her study guide for US History! oh man thank you Ajay! Last final exam was for US History. first 30 mins .. we did notes. waste of 30 mins. then took the exam. the study guide that ajay gave me had MOST of the answers so i have a feeling that i Aced that thing. stayed in about 5-10 mins after the bell cause i wasn't done. finished. went straight to the parking lot. drove home. went to sleep. no sadies for me this year again. 

Saturday; was suppose to go to the Job Fair at Great America but it was cold when i woke up at 8. so i ended up going back to sleep and woke up around 1. bathroom. brushed teeth. went downstairs to find something to eat.. yummy tilapia and rice. uh around 3 my dad comes home from visiting my grandma and ended up telling my brother and i to go flea market with him to get plantain (sp?) bananas for my grandma. when we got there.. most of the stands were closed already. and the food ! OMG i miss their BBQ ribs and fries. last time i went there was like 2nd grade so it didn't feel like a long walk. but oh man.. there was this group of mex girls looking at me. i was really scared. haha. well came home. took a quick nap. and ate. and now ended up here.

tomorrow Sunday; gunna wake up at 8am. get ready for the Job Fair. HOPEFULLY

i wanna get there before the line gets hella long. i don't wanna wait for hella long for a interview!

i should blog everyday.. i hate blogging this much for just ong blog! yuck. 
+ima have some pictures up when i get my d40. BYE

said and done

First week of 2009 was dope. Jan1-Jan4 i stayed home to chill with cousins ans what not. The day before New Years Eve, my grandma went to the hospital. got surgery. pretty stressful but i pray that she will be okay.

Going back to school after winter break was NOT great. i had NO sleep at all but managed to stay up in all my classes. totally forgot everything. my school loop password. locker combination. haha my first period ! damn. On Wednesday, Jan7, my besterest friend came to visit after she got out of school. I haven't seen Whitley in forever. We live in the same neighborhood too! That was my highlight of the week. Got to chill with her for 2 hrs & also with jluisa and daphne. lalala it's cold to even know wth im going to say. so i'll just cut it here and get into some serious things.

Oh & also on Wednesday or Thursday?, not really sure, something happen after school. I thought you wouldn't even notice me anymore. Sometimes i have a feeling that i did something wrong. something that made you stop talking to me. i gave you so many chances because it's just too hard to let you go. why can't you do the same? is it because you do wanna let me go? i just want you to tell me straight up. i'm tired of lies from you. all i ask from you is the truth. if you don't want to be , then tell me so i don't have to waste my breathe&time&money on you. $40 spent on you on your birthday. After spending $40, you gave me actions that made me think that all you wanted was something compared to what i did.

From my perspective, you can never find the right person. &action does speak louder than words. the action i have given you on your birthday is the best thing i've done for anyone. i've done that action because that's how much i love you. to spend $40+ on you. it was all worth it. WAS. @times i regret doing it but what can i do now? nothing. bceause that was that. it's done. i wasn't thinking when planning it because my anger was buried and stomped by happiness to have you.

There's really no words to describe it. What is said and done for you was coming from the heart. accept it, it's all you can do now..

Winter Break

so it's been 2 days into 2009 and i've already been going through a few things.  last night i read some old letters and whatnot. What was said in the letter got me thinking you guys gunna be there for me but in the end, I guess ya'll let me go. I'm not gunna say "fuck it" or "forget that. i can live without him/her". not like that anymore. 2009 is here. Decided to be a new me. Just gunna be that kid walking around school .. won't expect something to happen anymore. WTH i dont even know. what happen in 2008 is the past. all that "friendship" bullshit won't take me over. When I find out i gotta go a different way, I'm packing. Hello to the other side of the United States? or maybe just Cali. (:

^^
haha enough of that sad bullshit talk.

This break was pretty chill. Spent most of my time with the family. I came to realize that family is the best. Always there for you. Never turns their back on one another. shiit. gotta love them. Well Christmas was good. Didn't really get what i wanted but it's all good. Was suppose to go to see some snow on New Years day but my grandma went to the hospital the day before New Years Eve, so family and relatives stayed in the bay. damn. 2 more days til school. not ready but whatever comes, gotta deal with it.